“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
“All you need is love,” sang the Beatles: “love, love, love.” I think that might be the mantra of our world today. Our culture is obsessed with the idea of love, whether romantic love or self-love. Love is seen as ultimate, the end-all, the trump card. We hear phrases like, “But they love each other,” as if anything done in the name of love gets a free pass. Or, “That doesn’t feel very loving,” which assumes if it does not feel loving, then it is wrong. Sadly, this way of thinking has made its way into the church. “God loves you unconditionally and accepts you just the way you are,” people say. Comforting words, but dangerously incomplete. He only accepts us based on the righteousness of Christ, and He never intends to leave us as we are.
Let me be upfront. Some will read Jesus’ words in Matthew 18 and label them unloving. When we talk about accountability, discipline, or excommunication, those do not sound like loving words to most people. Yet in Matthew 18 Jesus shows us that accountability and discipline are important for our life together in the church. They are vital to the health of the body.
As we continue our series on biblical community, we come to the topic of church discipline. I realize for some the phrase itself may qsound harsh. Perhaps you have bought into a false definition of love that is simply tolerance. Perhaps you have seen discipline handled poorly. Or maybe never at all. This is a sensitive and sometimes confusing topic. It is also politically incorrect. What Jesus calls His followers to do in Matthew 18 runs against the grain of the world’s way of thinking. The world often gives only two options: unconditional affirmation or hostility. To say that a choice or lifestyle is wrong is labeled unloving and judgmental. Inside the church we can even convince ourselves it is kind to stay silent. “Your sin is your problem. That is between you and God. I do not want to be legalistic.” But Jesus teaches that church discipline is one of the greatest ways we show love to one another. It is a necessary part of our life together.
The context of Matthew 18. Matthew’s Gospel turns on Peter’s confession in 16:16, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God,” and Jesus’ promise, “I will build my church” (16:18). In chapter 18 Jesus shows what life in this new community looks like: humility and serving (18:1–4), receiving and caring for one another (18:5–6), fighting sin and temptation (18:7–9), seeking the straying sheep (18:10–14), forgiving one another (18:21–35), and, in the center of it all, practicing discipline (18:15–20). Discipline is part of discipleship. Notice also that the word “church” appears only twice in the Gospels, both in Matthew, and both tied to confession of Christ and discipline in the church (16:18; 18:17). This is not a secondary issue.
Step 1: Private conversation. “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” Go privately, humbly, and gently. Examine your own heart first. Aim to “flip on the light switch” so your brother or sister can see what may be hidden. Most discipline should begin and end here.
Step 2: Small group confrontation. If they will not listen, “take one or two others along with you.” This provides clarity and witnesses, echoing Deuteronomy 19:15. It broadens the circle just enough for others who love the person to appeal for repentance. This step resolves the vast majority of remaining cases.
Step 3: The church’s admonition. If there is still refusal, “tell it to the church.” Practically, this involves pastors helping the church speak with wisdom and sensitivity. This involves the whole church. The goal is a united, loving appeal: “We love you. Please turn back to Christ.”
Step 4: Removal from fellowship. If they refuse even the church, “let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Treat them as an unbeliever. Remove them from membership and the Lord’s Table. Not to punish, but to call them to repentance and faith. Paul gives a concrete example in 1 Corinthians 5 and explains the redemptive aim: “so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord” (5:5). In 2 Corinthians 2 he urges restoration when repentance occurs.
Church discipline is hard, but it is love in action. Love for the wandering sinner, love for the church, and love for Christ. May we be a people who tell the truth, call one another to repentance, and display the glory of Jesus in our life together.
